


Vulcan Mess

by Culoniforsx



Series: Kingdom Hearts x Star Trek AU [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, Star Trek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Character Study, Friends to Lovers, Half-vulcan Saïx, Kinda? they haven't really figured it out yet, M/M, Pon Farr, Rated M for language, Vulcan Xigbar, Xigbar is mean to Saïx
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 01:30:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Culoniforsx/pseuds/Culoniforsx
Summary: "I did not ask for your help.""Yet I helped you, free of charge. [...] You got yourself a mate and didn't die and my subordinate is now all bright and breezy. Overall, it's a win-win for all parts. Actually, I've never seen Axel so cheery. Human crewmen are typically needy, but you— you must have been a particularly good fuck."





	Vulcan Mess

**Author's Note:**

> An extract from my KH x ST AU.
> 
> I was toying with the idea that Saïx, being a half-vulcan, would have to deal with pon farr, and came up with the fact that Xigbar, being an unconventional vulcan, would be a little shit about it.
> 
> So I decided to write it and also include as many details about my AU as possible, which resulted in an unexpectedly long mainly conversational drabble.
> 
>  
> 
> For non-trekkies here, from Star Trek wikia:  
> The pon farr was a Vulcan time of mating. It was considered to be a very private matter within Vulcan society, so much that only a handful of Starfleet doctors had ever handled it. Among themselves, Vulcans found it inappropriate to involve themselves with another's pon farr. During pon farr, adult Vulcans underwent a neurochemical imbalance that took on a form of madness. A Vulcan could die within eight days if their pon farr was not satiated.
> 
>  
> 
> (disclaimer: I'm only halfway TNG now so half of my ST knowledge comes from long wikia reading sessions)

"Why did you do it?", Saïx asked, not even bothering to look at him in the eye. Or rather, he felt compelled to show even less signs of emotion than he usually would. He well knew that, may his severe facade quiver just a bit, it would add one more point to the already neverending list of things Xigbar would regularly bring up to test his vulcan patience. "I did not ask for your help."

"Yet I helped you, free of charge", he chuckled, like he was congratulating himself. Xigbar often indulged in the the use or abuse of human catchphrases, and it never ceased to get on his nerves. "You got yourself a mate and didn't die and my subordinate is now all bright and breezy. Overall, it's a win-win for all parts. Actually, I've never seen Axel so cheery. Human crewmen are typically needy, but you— you must have been a particularly good fuck."

Saïx frowned. He did not need any more reminders of what had happened between them during his blood fever. The images of that evening, though diffuse and confusing, still haunted his mind so often that it was nearly as alarming as how little it took to convince Axel despite him being completely oblivious of the true nature of his state.

A few days had already passed since then, and they still hadn't talked about it. It wasn't his desire to confront the situation any time soon, though. Preferably never.

"Enough of that", he finally spoke. "It is shameful."

Xigbar looked delighted.

"Is that emotion I hear?", he asked. "Or is it your human half talking?"

"It is neither", Saïx huffed. "By vulcan standards, pon farr is not a subject to be talked lightly about, especially not to non-vulcans. You should know that.”

"I know it, but I really don't care", he shrugged. "But if it helps ease your mind, I didn't tell Axel about it. I just— suggested it would be nice of him to pay you a visit. And he did. And nature happened."

"Still, he will make questions."

"Then don't answer them. Aren’t you his superior?”

While his point was logical, the whole situation was already a mess regardless of whatever approach he decided to take now towards Axel’s... curiosity —with which, he knew, he would have to deal eventually.

He wondered, though… if maybe, in some way, from a certain point of view, Xigbar’s solution had still been the most logical one. That was already inaccurate as an statement, since logic itself was meant to be absolute, not open to interpretation, but Saïx felt uneasy about his own lack of conviction. The fact is that what he did was bold, unwelcome and distasteful, yet it solved the problem with little to none casualties, including not needing to change the ship’s route back to Vulcan.

Saïx, instead, hadn’t yet come up with any other solution by the time Axel was in his cabin. He had asked Xemnas, who was slightly familiar with the phenomenon of pon farr, for a permit to stay in his quarters, but not even full-time meditation did him any good.

The only thing he was totally certain about was that Xigbar enjoyed having put him in his current position.

“That’s why I don’t like vulcans”, he sighed, breaking the silence.

He would say that from time to time, despite Xigbar being a vulcan himself. However, he had rejected Surak’s teachings and made himself an outcast years before Xehanort took interest in him and ‘adopted’ him like he had done with Xemnas before, and Saïx after them. And that other kid, too, but those were different circumstances.

“Yet you follow the Admiral’s every command.”

“That’s because the enemies of my enemies are my friends.”

“Vulcans are not Xehanort’s enemies.”

“Neither are they mine, but he’s always been at odds with the High Command for interpreting the ancient teachings a bit too much for their liking", he explained. None of them knew exactly how far 'always' went, since they all met Xehanort after he had already been a renowned captain for years. By then, he was a key figure in Vulcan's relationships with Starfleet and could allow himself to voice controversial opinions a little less carefully than most. "And I appreciate that. When it comes to vulcans, that's as good as it gets."

"Then why don't you just team up with humans?"

"Can’t say I love them either”. He got the sarcasm and irritation in Saïx’s words, but decided to ignore them. “But I can understand why Xehanort takes so much interest in them. They’re creatures of neither pure logic nor pure emotion, though most of the time their sentiment clouds their judgement. Otherwise, they’re pretty entertaining.”

"Entertaining?"

"Aren't they? I thought that you'd agree since you and Axel—"

"And I thought we were over that."

"Sure, my bad", Xigbar replied, but his words didn't sound anywhere near a heartfelt apology. Saïx knew he would bring it up again at the slightest chance. "Anyway, they also make good examples of what a healthy balance of logic and emotion can achieve."

"Such as?"

"For starters, not making such a great deal of the mere act of mating. Then there’s the ability of doing things for no other reason rather than being curious, regardless of the possible outcomes. Like, when I decided to send Axel to your quarters, I had no actual idea of how Axel or you would react, but I wanted to see what would happen. And by doing so, I incidentally saved your life."

He could leave the recreation room any time he wanted and for a moment he really felt like it, but that would have been an immediate victory for Xigbar, and the count was already unbalanced enough to just give in. As illogical as that might be, he still had some pride. He knew, however, that the other vulcan was really enjoying himself at his expense.

"So you did not do it out of mercy."

"Mercy? What did I ever do for you to think so lowly of me?"

"Well, I could make you a list."

Xigbar seemed to find his retort hilarious.

"You've got a sense of humor! Maybe you did get the best of both worlds after all."

"I did not", Saïx replied, maybe in a tone more bitter than he had intended. To foreign ears, that could be interpreted as a compliment, but for Saïx, who had always struggled with the social implications of being half human and got easily defensive would anyone state that he was anything else rather than vulcan, it was the only insult that could get under his skin. Xigbar knew that quite well, he’d been doing it for years. "I was raised in Vulcan as a vulcan."

"So was Xemnas and that doesn't make him a vulcan", Xigbar pointed out, "although you could easily mistake him for one."

“But he lacks vulcan blood.”

“Fortunately”, he laughed. Were he vulcan, he and Xigbar would have had a hard time getting along. “But you’ve got a point there. You can’t be a vulcan unless you have at least a tiny bit of vulcan blood.”

Saïx frowned. It wasn’t usual for Xigbar to agree so easily with him, but he was about to know the reason for it. The door had opened and Axel was coming in. Their eyes met for a second; Saïx froze. They were at the back of the room, and the redhead’s steps were clearly leading him towards them.

That would only postpone the inevitable, but fortunately someone from one of the tables before theirs called Axel’s attention.

“Axel!”

He turned to see Demyx waving with both hands. He was sitting with Luxord and Xaldin. The later was dressed in command gold, while the other two wore red uniforms like himself. A game of cards was going on the table. Axel approached them.

“Care to join us?”, Xaldin spoke.

“Is it cards today?”

“It's always cards when Luxord gets to choose”, he shrugged, but didn't seem too bothered by it.

“Which is almost always”, Demyx complained, pouting his lips.

“You can't play 3D chess with three people”, Luxord pointed.

He played a card and Demyx groaned in exasperation before he had to draw a bunch of cards for himself.

“Then we should play kadis-kot”, he suggested.

“We ain't playing kadis-kot”, Xaldin replied

“Axel, help me out here”, Demyx pleaded, putting his hands together. “You want to play kadis-kot, don't you?”

“My break is almost over”, Axel explained, patting Demyx’s shoulder. “Maybe some other day.”

He could still hear Demyx and Xaldin arguing after he walked away.

“You heard him! We're playing kadis-kot next time.”

“He said 'maybe’.”

As Axel was coming near them, Xigbar got suddenly on his feet, not really minding if his plan of leaving the two of them alone was too obvious. Saïx, however, also got up seconds after him with full intention of avoiding the conversation.

“Sir”, Axel called.

Saïx stopped in his tracks.

He and Saïx had been in a first name basis for long, but even while in the recreation room he preferred to keep the manners that were expected of him when talking to a superior officer. Many there weren't aware of the familiarity that usually went on between them.

Sometimes he still felt awkward addressing Saïx so formally, considering they were around the same age. They even entered the Academy the same year. Back then, they were friends… best friends, actually, but they parted ways shortly after. Well, Axel did. He left the Academy and didn't resume his studies until years later. He first served aboard a different starship, but was recently reassigned to the one he was currently in. That was the first time he and Saïx met since their Academy days.

Now Saïx was Xemnas’ first officer, and he was a mere Security ensign. Not that he was jealous or anything else rather than happy for Saïx’s blooming career, but the distance between their ranks had made it even more difficult to shorten the distance between themselves.

And now there was… that other thing, too, which added to the whole situation an additional level of awkwardness. That's what he wanted to talk about.

To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure of how to bring up the subject or what exactly he wanted to say. He hoped that talking to Saïx would help him sort things out.

Every time he tried to reflect on what happened that evening, he always ended up losing his train of thought.

Saïx had always been a handsome man. Before becoming friends, Axel had tried to make advances at him —he was in that age… though he hadn't completely passed through it—, but got lured away by his vulcan stoicism. However, that was long ago, and while he strongly believed that Saïx had grown even more attractive since then, he didn't harbor any romantic feelings or a particularly strong sexual desire towards him.

Or so he thought.

That evening, Saïx completely clouded his senses in a way he had never felt before. It wasn't due to the feeling of his skin beneath his fingers, or the hoarse sound of his voice panting next to his ear, or the vulcan strength he experienced firsthand when Saïx pinned him to the mattress. No, he meant it… literally. Axel had had plenty of sex before and couldn't recall such an ardent sensation, such a powerful lust. The time and place and everything that wasn't Saïx had blurred into a haze, and even now it came to his mind with an intensity that he failed to comprehend.

It should have been a vulcan thing, it had to be. Otherwise… maybe he would have to come to terms with some newly discovered feeling he wasn't ready to deal with.

Saïx’s eyes met his own. Now he had his attention, but he preferred to talk in private.

“Can we talk?”

Saïx stood there for a few seconds, silent, maybe considering whether to stay or to leave. In the end, he looked away.

“I must get back to the bridge now.”

He didn't sound entirely honest, but Axel wasn't in the position to argue with a superior officer. He nodded.

“Sure”, he mumbled, then watched Saïx walk past him towards the turbolift.


End file.
